I’m in my villain era

aka what are boundaries and why we need them :P

Over New Years 2022-2023 my friends and I were skiing at Snowbowl in Flagstaff, AZ talking about our New Years resolution. I stated “I’m in my villain era.” When my friends asked what that meant I responded with “I’m matching energy. Giving energy to those who give it back, not overextending and putting my needs first.” I’m a verbal processer, so when I say things out loud I’m literally processing my thoughts and feelings and discovering my truth while I talk. I realized that what I mean by “I’m in my villain era,” was simply me setting boundaries.

Boundaries are a vital aspect of self-care, they are often misunderstood. Many people view setting boundaries as being selfish (especially if we are not used to setting them!), but in reality, boundaries are an essential tool for protecting our emotional and physical well-being, maintaining healthy relationships and managing stress.

Especially as highly sensitive individuals (HSP), empaths, and lightworkers, we may find ourselves taking on the emotional burdens of others without even realizing it. Asking “is this emotion mine?” was very helpful for me in understanding that sometimes what I was feeling wasn’t mine, and in fact the person in line next to me at the grocery store! It was easy to figure out, once I learned to ask myself this question. because my mood would shift SO drastically, the emotion just simply couldn’t belong to me.

people pleasing

In childhood there can be certain instances in which we learn or are trained to become “people pleasers.” Through conditioning we can learn that our worth is connected to how well we please our parents. When we are constantly rewarded for meeting their expectation, or punished for not, we learn to bend to their needs, rather than meeting our own. We can learn that our value is dependent on their mood.

If we grew up in a strict and/or violent home - approval can become equivalent to safety. In this case we may ‘people please’ as a way to control the situation to manipulate the outcome, in order to create safety.

Sometimes we may feel responsible for other people's feelings and needs, and as a result, neglect our own. I know I have been guilty of every time a friend needs me I show up ASAP to help them regardless of my emotional, mental or even physical bandwidth. If we suffer from low self esteem, lack confidence or fear rejection we may seek the validation of others and eventually can lose ourselves in the quest for others’ love and appreciation.

Have you ever said “yes” to something you absolutely WISHED you said ‘no’ too? Could you feel your life force start to drain because you knew you overextended yourself again? Have you ever hung out with someone who energetically just took everything out of you and gave nothing back, and by the time you got home you needed a nap?

how to set boundaries

Setting boundaries is not about being selfish or uncaring; it's about recognizing our own needs and communicating them to others. It's about taking responsibility for our own emotions and wellbeing, rather than expecting others to do it for us. If we keep giving and asking nothing in return, a person has no reason to cut themself off from the endless supply you’re giving them. This happens often in relationships between a narcissist and an empath and we we refer to these people as ‘energy vampires.’

Boundaries can be as simple as saying ‘no,’ to setting limits on how much time we spend with people, and who we spend time with. It's important to remember that boundaries are not about controlling others; they are about respecting ourselves and our needs enough to take control of our own lives

In order to properly set boundaries, we must first identify our own needs and priorities. Self-reflection is key here, and so is self respect. We must learn to recognize when we are overextending ourselves and when it's time to take a step back. This can be difficult, especially if we have been conditioned to prioritize others over ourselves, but it's a necessary step towards self-care and wellbeing.

Communicating our boundaries can also be challenging, but remember! this is not about being confrontation- it's about being clear with our truth and assertive in our communication. We can communicate our boundaries with kindness and respect, while still being firm in our needs.

Setting healthy boundaries is a beautiful and necessary type of self care - we are creating space for ourselves, our needs, which blossoms into our growth and evolution. When we allow ourselves to prioritize our own needs, we become more resilient in the face of life's challenges. We also create healthier relationships, based on mutual respect and understanding.

When we create boundaries we benefit everyone around us. We are being more true to ourselves and more authentic, which is deepening our integrity and the quality of our relationships with those around us because we are living in our truth!

Like life, setting boundaries is a constant thing, it spirals around with us as we learn lessons and grow. Because of that we may have to revisit boundaries with certain people, but we can rest assured that those who love us and want a relationship with us will honor our boundaries.

Remember: ‘No.’ is a complete sentence! You are allowed to take up space in the world. Your needs are just as important as those around you. You are here for a reason and the universe needs you <3

unstick your stories

Stories

We all have them and they have an impact on how we see ourselves, show up in relationships, and how we live our lives. Stories are powerful tools for shaping our perceptions of the world, and they can have a profound influence on our sense of self.

On the one hand, stories can be incredibly empowering. They can inspire us to dream big, take risks, and pursue our passions. They can give us a sense of purpose and direction, and help us to connect with others who share our values and aspirations.

However, stories can also be limiting. When we are exposed to negative or restrictive stories about ourselves or the world around us, they can become internalized and start to shape our self-image. We may begin to believe that we are not good enough, or that we are incapable of achieving our goals. These stories can become self-fulfilling prophecies, leading us to hold ourselves back and miss out on opportunities for growth and fulfillment.

So how can we use the power of stories to become the best versions of ourselves, rather than being held back by limiting beliefs? One approach is to become more conscious of the stories we tell ourselves and others. By examining the narratives that shape our perceptions of the world, we can begin to identify and challenge the ones that are holding us back. We can seek out new stories that align with our values and aspirations, and use them to inspire and motivate us.

When I am going to say something negative about myself I say “in the past I was ____,” or “historically, I was _____,” this way I am putting the limiting belief behind me, in my past, where it belongs. I know how important the present moment is as that is the exact location that our future blossoms from!

Another approach is to become the authors of our own stories. Rather than allowing external narratives to define us, we can take control of our own narratives and shape them in a way that reflects our true authentic selves. This may involve taking risks, pursuing our passions, and embracing our imperfections and vulnerabilities. This may also mean appreciating and acknowledging the people that you have been before and also allowing them to fade away at the same time.

I could tell you my adventures—beginning from this morning… but it's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then. ~ Lewis Carroll

One time I was explaining astrology to a friend of mine, she was asking me to explain how she (an Aquarius) and I (a Cancer) were different. My simple explanation without going into Moon/Rising etc was to explain that as an air sign she has a sort of beautiful detached quality that allows her to not be offended by the words or expectations of others; me being a Cancer, a water sign who feels mostly everything and is historically sensitive, I could be offended much easier by something a friend said to me.

I use astrology as a guideline, like all divination tools they help you to see aspects of yourself you were blind to before. When I was describing this to my friend I realized that if I find myself offended I could just try to get up and out of my Cancerian mind for a moment, to transcend my own bullshit in order to have a broader perspective.

set yourself free

Let’s play pretend for a moment. What if you were not you? Not necessarily someone else, just not yourself with your past and your stories and your grievances and your pain. For a breath just allow your personality and your burdens to sink deep into the ground and allow yourself to become empty. Take a few slooooow and deeeeep breaths. And allow the self (personality / avatar) that is not the Self (soul) to sink into the earth. The ground of course will hold on to these things so you don’t have to. Now breathe from this emptiness, this unknownness, this spaciousness and see what it feels like. Do you feel burdened or stressed in the same way? Do you have the same physical discomfort in your body? Do you experience different emotions? Stay curious. What does this feel like?

Depression is your avatar telling you it's tired of being the character you're trying to play. ~ Jim Carrey

What this visualization allows us is to step outside of ourselves to see the cage we’ve built around ourselves with all of your stories. If I can consider for a second that I can be different, and my thoughts create emotions, which create hormones, which inspire actions, then by thinking may way into spaciousness, I can achieve spaciousness. By thinking myself limitless, I can achieve limitlessness.

Ultimately, the stories we tell ourselves and others have a profound impact on our sense of self and our ability to thrive in the world. By becoming more conscious of these stories and taking an active role in shaping them, we can unlock our full potential and become the best versions of ourselves!

Then one day the stories that made you vengeful, that made you powerless, that held control over you will just be chapters of an old book you read 15 years ago.

Please enjoy one of my favorite quotes from Alan Watts & Albert Camus.

Let's suppose that you were able every night to dream any dream that you wanted to dream. And that you could, for example, have the power within one night to dream 75 years of time. Or any length of time you wanted to have.

And you would, naturally as you began on this adventure of dreams, you would fulfill all your wishes. You would have every kind of pleasure you could conceive. And after several nights of 75 years of total pleasure each, you would say "Well, that was pretty great." But now let's have a surprise. Let's have a dream which isn't under control. Where something is gonna happen to me that I don't know what it's going to be. And you would dig that and come out of that and say "Wow, that was a close shave, wasn't it?"

And then you would get more and more adventurous, and you would make further and further out gambles as to what you would dream.

And finally, you would dream ... where you are now. You would dream the dream of living the life that you are actually living today. ~ Alan Watts

~

The realization that life is absurd cannot be an end, but a beginning. ~ Albert Camus

shame

SHAME

Shame is a powerful and often overwhelming emotion that can be difficult to shake off. It is the feeling that we are flawed, inadequate, or unworthy of love and acceptance. Shame can be triggered by a wide range of experiences, from small mistakes to major life events, and it can have a significant impact on our mental and emotional well-being. It's the feeling that we are not good enough or that we have done something wrong, and it often leads to a sense of isolation and disconnection from others.

Shame is an intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging. ~ Brene Brown

When we experience shame, we believe that there is something fundamentally wrong with us, and that we are different or separate from the people around us. This can be incredibly isolating and can lead to feelings of loneliness and despair.

In my opinion, shame and guilt are some of the worst feelings a human can feel because of how sticky they are - they’re like quicksand and the more you feel them the more they suck you under. I believe this happens because of my belief in past lives, and ancestral and intergenerational trauma that goes all the way back in time, but remembered and/or echoed through DNA. Once upon a time when we were in nomadic tribes we depended on community for survival - if you did something bad you were potentially exiled from your community. This exile could have and would have meant death. I think it’s possible shame and guilt feel so awful because they bring up past-life memories and emotions of despair and threaten death.

Luckily for all of us, it IS possible to break the cycle of shame. The first step is to recognize and acknowledge and NAME our feelings of shame. We must be willing to confront our shame head-on and recognize that it is a normal and natural emotion - just like all other emotions. Remember all your Emotions are Like Puppies, and they are all valid.

Another effective approach is to challenge the negative beliefs that underlie our feelings of shame. Remember - we parent ourselves like our parents did when we are stressed. In the absence of our parents, we can become our biggest critic. Question where those internal voices are coming from - see if you can reframe that Critical Judge Self to perhaps a Supportive and Benevolent Coach. By questioning the validity of our negative self-talk and reframing our thoughts in a more positive light, we can begin to shift our perspective and feel more confident in ourselves.

I like to put sticky notes around my house reminding me “I did the best that I could in that moment,” “I can always try better tomorrow,” “I’m doing great.” So that every time my negative self talk may arise there is a sticky note not too far in the distance cheering me on. This begins to create a feedback loop: negative thought arises -> we feel it -> we find it in our body and name it -> we accept and breathe that this is all a part of being human -> we create a new thought -> if the negative thought is still there, that’s okay, -> begin again at step 1.

Forgive yourself for what you didn’t know before you learned it ~ Brene Brown

This is my favorite quote from Brene Brown. I believe there are no such thing as mistakes - only lessons that help us grow into the people we have always been on the inside. Another way to overcome shame is to practice self-compassion. This means treating ourselves with kindness and understanding, rather than judgment and criticism.

Allow yourself to grow through what you go through.

I believe that we are the people we needed when we were younger.

Let that sink in for a second.

We are, in our current self, the exact people we needed when we were younger. Allow yourself to go back in time and give the little version of yourself exactly what they needed. Re-parent yourselves with loving-kindness, listen to your inner self with compassionate understanding.

Ultimately, overcoming shame requires us to be brave and vulnerable. It means acknowledging our flaws and mistakes, and accepting ourselves as we are - beautifully flawed and perfectly imperfect. When we are able to do this, we can break free from the cycle of shame and live a more authentic and fulfilling life.

The fear of judgment and rejection can prevent us from being our authentic selves and can even lead to self-destructive behaviors. It's important to recognize and address feelings of shame in order to live a more fulfilling life. Just like I wrote about in Vulnerability: A Superpower, there is strength and alchemical gold in being vulnerable because it helps you connect more authentically to others.

Alchemy

I believe in the magic of Alchemy, or turning non-gold materials into gold through magic. Circumstances of our life will happen to us and AND for us; it is up to us to extract the gems of truth from these ordinary or unfortunate experiences and transmute them into gold.

I hope you will go out and let stories, that is life, happen to you, and that you will work with these stories... water them with your blood and tears and your laughter till they bloom, till you yourself burst into bloom. ~ Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes

The story of the lotus in Buddhism reminds me of alchemizing our life experiences and transforming them into enlightenment. The lotus starts its life from the bottom of a dirty pond, it grows upwards towards the light until finally transforming into the beautiful lotus flower that sits above the muddy water, becoming the illuminated flower that we all know and love. This is like us through life - we are born under certain conditions that we must grow upwards and expand beyond. Throughout life we are searching for the light - whether that is love, our purpose, money, etc. We stretch and reach towards this goal until finally achieving it and blossoming open above the mucky muck, reaping all the goodness that we have sown in the sunlight of this awareness.

This is the same with alchemizing our shame and vulnerability into gold for others. Shame thrives in secrecy and isolation, so by sharing our experiences with others, we can begin to build more meaningful connections with the people around us.

don’t ‘should’ on yourself!

There is no such thing as something you should have done. It simply doesn’t exist. What if the only thing that is truly real is this moment we’re having? You did your best at the time, with the knowledge that you had, and regardless of the outcome you have gained wisdom.

This is important: you did not walk away empty handed, you have an expanded awareness of the situation; you have gained wisdom and experience that you can apply to future circumstances.

Everything in your life has lead you to the moment you’re having right now. If you like where you are then nothing you have done can be seen as a mistake. If you don’t like where you are, instead of kicking yourself, focus your energy here in the present moment.

The magic of the present moment is what builds and blossoms your future. Changing your actions right now can create a new path forward. If you tried to plant a garden every year in the same place with the same seeds, and every year it didn’t work - wouldn’t you try changing something? We as humans are just more complex gardens :)

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

I remember going through a difficult break up and thinking “I should have done this,” “if only I did this,” and then having an epiphany that our hearts HAVE to break throughout our life! This happens for us so our hearts can expand and hold more love. This is the whole philosophy of Kintsugi - the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold - making something that broke even more beautiful than it was before it broke.

Everyone has cracks, that’s how the light gets in. ~ Leonard Cohen

Ultimately, the key to overcoming shame lies in cultivating self-compassion and self-love. By recognizing our inherent worth and treating ourselves with kindness and understanding, we can begin to heal the wounds that shame has caused and move towards a more fulfilling and authentic life.

By acknowledging and accepting our experiences and emotions, we can begin to work through them and find ways to move forward. By sitting with our discomfort, and practicing being comfortable being uncomfortable we begin to detach from these emotions. Rather than “I am shameful” we realize “shame is visiting us.” This gives us permission to feel what we feel without judgement.

Once again:

Forgive yourself for what you didn’t know before you learned it ~ Brene Brown

*I highly recommend listening to Brene Brown’s various youtube videos and podcasts on shame! She is highly informative, an amazing and compassionate educator and a deep listener <3

vulnerability: a superpower

Vulnerability is an essential part of the human experience. It is the state of being exposed to the possibility of harm or damage, either physically or emotionally. Vulnerability is often viewed negatively, associated with weakness or frailty. However, it is important to recognize that vulnerability can also be a source of strength and growth; a superpower.

Like most of us ‘black sheep,’ Highly Sensitive People (HSP’s), empaths and/or lightworkers, I used to think feeling my feelings so deeply and expressing my vulnerability was a curse. But it also felt inauthentic to feel things so deeply without sharing them because I longed for connection despite feeling isolated in my depression. I read somewhere (later in life) that when you’re depressed you’re actually more connected to the collective than when you’re happy. Depression will lie to you and tell you you’re alone, but in that moment of your darkest hour you’re more connected to everyone else than ever before. I think this is because we all experience pain, but not all of us are able or privileged enough to experience the highest of highs. What I have come to realize through my experiences of long term anxiety and depression throughout my teens and early 20’s is that sometimes the lowest of lows allow me to know what the highest of highs feel like. It’s like without the lows as a baseline - how would I know how high the highs get?

People who wade into discomfort and vulnerability and tell the truth about their stories are the real badasses. ~ Brene Brown

Vulnerability is often seen as a weakness or a flaw. It's something we can try to hide from others and even from ourselves. However, vulnerability can be a strength that can help us bond more deeply with others and become more resilient in the face of life's challenges. Have you ever shared something with someone who accepted and loved you despite what you shared? Remember the amount of love and gratitude and appreciation you felt for that relationship?

…the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day. ~ Dr. Suess

strength in vulnerability

I started to realize feeling everything so deeply wasn’t a bad thing, it connected me to more people, it made me more compassionate, patient and more understanding of what my fellow human was growing through.

This is the lesson of the Throat Chakra teaches us power through vulnerability - sharing our truth brings the people together and completes the circle. Storytelling connects us through weaving threads of dialogue and finding resonant nodes and related topics. When we share our wounds and truth, others feel more comfortable sharing, which opens hearts, expands minds, and deepens relationships.

Vulnerability is not weakness; it's our greatest measure of courage. ~ Brene Brown

The planetary alignments and retrogrades we experienced at the end of 2022 really put me into an introverted, reflective state where I was reeling from such intense unworthiness and feelings undeserving of the life I live. These emotions and feelings were so intense I was beginning to implode into myself so I decided instead of letting these emotions direct my downward spiral, I would shine a light into this darkness and share them with my friends and boyfriend instead.

As SOON as I shared my emotions they sighed, releasing their breath and the heaviness that came with it, “me too,” they said. Through sharing our vulnerability and being so honest with ourselves and each other - and supporting each other through working with our own brand of feelings, we were able to relax fully into ourselves, our truth, and each other.

Vulnerability can also be a source of strength in difficult times. When we are vulnerable, we allow ourselves to feel and process our emotions, even if they are painful. This can be difficult, but it can also help us to move through difficult experiences and come out stronger on the other side.

In order to embrace vulnerability as a superpower, we must learn to be kind to ourselves. We must recognize that vulnerability is a sign of courage and strength. We must also be willing to be patient with ourselves and with others, as this can be a slow and sometimes challenging process.

When we are vulnerable, we create deeper ties with the people around us. It requires trust, and when we are willing to share our true selves with others, we create an environment of trust and understanding.

Vulnerability; a superpower

Vulnerability can be scary. It requires us to let go of control and trust that others will not use our vulnerabilities against us. It can be difficult to be honest and open about our struggles and weaknesses, especially in a world that often values strength and independence above all else. This can be terrifying because it makes us feel exposed and open to judgment, but it can also be incredibly empowering.

Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. ~ Brene Brown

By being vulnerable, we are being authentic and honest and therefore we can create deeper connections with others. We acknowledge our emotions and our limitations, we become more resilient in the face of challenges, and learn to be more compassionate to ourselves.

So, the next time you feel afraid to be vulnerable, remember that it can actually be a source of strength and power. By embracing vulnerability, we give ourselves permission to be imperfect, and we show others that it's okay to be imperfect too.

Through Vulnerability, we Alchemize our pain into a Superpower.

how to hack forgiveness

For over 10 years I have worked with a lot of people sharing their life stories with me. A lot of times people say what they are sharing is things they’ve never shared before, to anyone, ever. A couple patterns I notice about forgiveness is people wanting to forgive and being unable to, or jumping to forgiveness without being ready, or punishing themselves for not being able to forgive. This is common, but it’s something we need to unpack.

As humans we feel a full spectrum of emotions from sadness and anger, and jealousy to joy, happiness and ecstasy. For our time here and now as humans, all of these emotions are valid, as I’ve written about before in Emotions are like Puppies. You are allowed to feel anyway you want. If someone did something to you that is beyond forgiveness (which I have heard many stories where this could be the case) - it is okay to be unable to forgive them.

I know that might sound weird at first - but hear me out for a second. Forgiveness is amazing, it’s releasing, it burns the ties that bind, it’s incredible!

But!

Sometimes it takes time to fully achieve forgiveness and sometimes it is impossible to get there. If you punish yourself your whole life for being unable to forgive, you are suffering twice - once with the trauma and again torturing yourself for not being able to forgive; this is, of course, even worse for your mental and emotional well-being.

To get to true forgiveness, you have to feel ALL THE THINGS: the hatred, resentment, disgust, shame etc. because! jumping too quickly to forgiveness could be spiritually bypassing (i.e. ‘I need to forgive because I’m spiritual, woke, etc…’) or gaslighting yourself (i.e. ‘It wasn’t that bad, other people have it worse, I’m overreacting, etc.’)

Your feelings are valid. You don’t need to do anything. You are the main character in your own life.

It’s also possible if you jump too quickly to false forgiveness, later in life these unprocessed emotions like the unfelt anger, hatred and/or resentment could bubble up again when their effects are more intense. In my opinion, the reasons these emotions can be more intense than the initial ones is because they’ve become infected and irritated from being shut down and compartmentalized. We’ve all heard the phrase ‘what we resist, persists!’ In this case, falsely-forgiving emotions that have not properly gone through their entire life cycle (from birth to resolution) can become exaggerated and more aggressive from not being witnessed. We see the ill effects of this process when we witness projection - when we ‘project’ or overlay past hurts from past events on to current people in our current life.

So!

Here’s my secret hack to forgiveness*:

Instead of trying to forgive the other person for what they did to you - what if you forgave yourself for not being able to forgive the other person?

Interesting right?

In my mind, forgiveness works both ways. You can try and forgive the other person, but if that doesn’t work, why not switch the direction of the forgiveness. Maybe try this on and practice some self compassion and self mercy?

What does it feel like to forgive yourself for not being able to forgive?

What if you chose yourself first?

*Disclaimer: you do not have to agree :) this blog is written with the same philosophy of trying on a T-shirt - if it fits, great; if it doesn’t, take it off and try a new one ;)

emotions are like puppies

Emotions are like puppies. They all want to be loved and held and cuddled. They are also all worthy of love and cuddles.

In my perspective there is NO SUCH THING as a bad emotion. Anger and sadness deserve as much love and affection as joy and ecstasy. Joy and ecstasy are easy to love because they feel good! Anger and sadness may be harder to love, but they have more to teach us.

Anger Protects

I believe that Anger is a Protector Emotion. Have you ever felt sad or powerless for so long that finally Anger came to protect you? To light a fire under your ass, to initiate and instigate you? To pick you up and out of sadness and depression and throw you into action?

In some schools of thought Anger can live in and around the Solar Plexus Chakra which has to do with our drive, determination, will and ego. It makes sense that Anger can be instigating! It’s literally pushing us forward into our destiny. Ego is not necessarily a bad thing as it’s purpose is to protect the Inner Child. It can be seen as negative if it runs our life without us knowing.

Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate. ~ Dr. Carl Jung

There is no such thing as a bad emotion

Sometimes as children we are taught there are ‘bad’ emotions but this is a lie. When a child is angry or reactive this can mean a boundary is crossed. Sometimes children do not feel comfortable hugging family friends because they can feel like strangers (if there is a lot of time between visits). Parents, sometimes embarrassed by this, will override the child’s boundaries. This can teach a child at young age that their bodies are not their own and they have no bodily autonomy. Obviously this is problematic at the time and later in life when children grow to pre-teens and young adults. If their voices and boundaries didn’t matter then, why would they matter now?

Sometimes parents do not like when children say “no,” as it’s seen as an act of defiance; but it can also be a child setting a boundary. When parents deny a child setting healthy boundaries it strips them of many things. Let’s dive deeper down this rabbit hole: a classmate wants something they have, do they say no? An older person wants to touch them inappropriately, can they say no? Someone hurts them, do they tell? How can they with no voice, no boundaries and no bodily autonomy?

all emotions are valid

Sometimes in childhood when we’re joyful the volume of our voice increases and a parent or peer shushes us and tells us we are “too loud.” This is around the time we learn that our joy isn’t welcome which can cause us to emotionally shut down and physically tighten around the diaphragm. This tightening can cause shallow breathing and a low vagal tone. ‘Vagal tone is a measure of cardiovascular function that facilitates adaptive responses to environmental challenge. Low vagal tone is associated with poor emotional and attentional regulation in children and has been conceptualized as a marker of sensitivity to stress.’

All emotions are valid and the whole point of an emotion is expression. Dr. Candace Pert writes in Molecules of Emotion that an emotion’s full lifespan is a matter of seconds. It begins, climaxes (if allowed) and then resolves itself. By fully experiencing our joy / sadness / anger / ecstasy we are allowing the full expression and complete lifecycle of that emotion.

the only bad emotion is a stuck one

There are many schools of thought on this: Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) believes that certain emotions will cause certain meridians and chakras to become discoherent and/or stagnant; by using herbs and acupuncture you can clear congestion and bring about wellness or ‘balance.’ Grief can sit in the lungs, frustration in the gallbladder, anger in the liver, overthinking in the stomach / spleen, emotional and mental digestion in the stomach / intestines and so on. In my experience, the only ‘bad’ emotion is a stuck one, as stuck emotions can cause physical ailments.

When I went through my healing crisis around 20 years old I was only able to fully heal my physical body by also balancing my mind and emotions. I talk about this often as this is when I came to realize that ‘healing’ comes from integrating the mind, body and soul as they are all interrelated; this is also when I dove much deeper into holistic healing, TCM and Ayurvedic medicine.

Later in life during my Saturn Return (Dark Night of the Soul) I was able to use and benefit from what I had already learned to help heal my 27 year old body from shingles. Shingles generally lasts for 3 months and is super painful as it affects the nerves, mine manifested in my face and neck. Luckily, I only suffered with shingles for a week because I came at it from an emotional and mental perspective, as well as treating it physically.

If you ever need another guide on relating emotions to physical illnesses, Dr. Louise Hay has compiled a list you can find here.

emotions are like puppies

And finally, emotions are like puppies. YOUR puppies. Joy and ecstasy are your adorable clean fluffy puppies and anger and sadness are your adorable fluffy puppies that accidentally got covered in mud. The important truth is that they are the same and they are yours. Your fluffy clean puppies come to you for love and you pick them up and hug them easily without hesitation because they’re clean.

Your silly adorable puppies that fell in mud cannot get the mud off themselves, so they are coming to you for help. They need your love, acceptance, and require more time and patience then your other puppies to remove the mud. Once you remove the mud you see the truth - that they are just as deserving and worthy of your love.

This is the same for your emotions, they are all valid and they deserve acceptance. In accepting your emotions and loving them for who they are and what they’re teaching you reduce resistance, you quicken the healing process, and integrate the lesson quicker.

Healing is not fixing the parts of you that are ‘broken’ - healing is loving all parts of yourself anyways <3

---

I dedicate this blog to my adorable fluffy Toby (pictured) when he got sprayed by a skunk twice - in the same week - during the winter - at night - after I had showered and was cozy in bed about to fall asleep :p

Furever Toby <3

paradigm shifts

When clients write to me for a session some of them say 1. I have a lot of trauma to work through and I want to get better and others say 2. I don’t have a lot of trauma, but I still want to get better. My response is always - “trauma” is relative - what is traumatizing to me might not be for you and vice versa. So, there is no need to judge what you perceive as trauma. If something happened to you and it bothered you, but someone else ‘went through something much worse,’ it’s still okay to not be okay with what you went through!

Spiritual bypassing is a term used to define when one’s belief system allows them to ignore or avoid personal issues or facing certain things. For example, if something particularly traumatizing happened to them, instead of processing with friends, working it out, journaling, crying, getting therapy, getting angry (all healthy reactions) they ‘jump’ straight to forgiveness. Now, of course forgiveness is a great thing, HOWEVER, you are a human being with complex thoughts and emotions and it is only natural to go through an entire process to e v e n t u a l l y arrive at forgiveness. Remember it is okay to not be okay, don’t gaslight (lie to) yourself by pretending to be okay when you’re not. That only hurts you in the long run because it delays the healing process.

I try not to speak in absolutes, but I do believe in order to heal something, you must feel it. Feeling pain, talking about your pain, accepting your pain and your process helps the pain to be witnessed and seen. In that exchange of witnessing and surrendering to what you’re experiencing in the present can help it evolve and change. Like the book written by Paulo Coelho, we ARE the Alchemist, turning the things that have happened to us into gold for others. Sometimes I wonder if the ‘bad things’ that happened to me were actually FOR ME - transforming me into a talented tuner!

It is in dialogue with pain that many beautiful things acquire their value. ~ Alain de Bottom

In Biofield Tuning we have a term called “puddling.” Puddling is when we completely and unabashedly allow ourselves to break down, withholding judgement. I remember one time I was supposed to pick up Eileen at the San Diego airport but my boyfriend and I had just broken up and I was in the middle of a good puddle session; I told her what was going on and she excitedly said “Puddle Away!” and I did.

I allowed myself to fully feel the darkness and sadness of what I was experiencing, without shaming myself or my compartmentalizing my emotions and shoving my feelings down. Because of this I was able to go through my process faster, heal quicker and feel more grounded only after a couple weeks - rather than several months! People talk about rock bottom like it’s a bad thing - but I believe that falling without end is worse. Rock bottom is when you finally stop and have an opportunity to stand up again.

In reference to what I find in the field - I prefer to call these situations Paradigm Shifts. They’re not necessarily traumas and it seems incorrect to call them that. Sometimes in childhood I find the birth of a sibling, or in the teenage years perhaps there was a move of houses, schools or even a parent getting a new job. These are not traumas if you enjoyed all of these events! However! They are Paradigm Shifts - life was one way, linear, and now everything moving forward is completely different than it was the day before. Paradigm Shifts are neither good nor bad, they just are.

Because of the self-help work I’ve done on myself since my teenage years, my understanding of the biofield and emotions, and my perspective of the world, when something goes wrong I like to think it happened “in order to strengthen the plot,” of my story. This is to acknowledge what has happened and to also bring some sarcasm and levity to the situation. If you’ve had sessions with me you know I like to invite humor in! I agree that laughter is (one of) the best medicine(s)!

It’s dark because you are trying too hard.
Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly.
Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply.
Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them.

I was so preposterously serious in those days, such a humorless little prig.
Lightly, lightly – it’s the best advice ever given me.
When it comes to dying even. Nothing ponderous, or portentous, or emphatic.
No rhetoric, no tremolos, no self conscious persona putting on its celebrated imitation of christ or Little Nell.
And of course, no theology, no metaphysics.
Just the fact of dying and the fact of the clear light.

So throw away your baggage and go forward.
There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet, trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair.
That’s why you must walk so lightly.
Lightly my darling, on tiptoes and no luggage, not even a sponge bag, completely unencumbered.”
~ Aldous Huxley

Healing isn’t about fixing everything that is wrong with you, it’s about accepting and loving yourself anyways. Regardless of what you went through, regardless of how you handled it, what matters is …

have you grown through what you’ve gone through.

Falling into the Trap of Productivity

…is a trap I know too well! “I am only worth something if I produce something,” “I haven’t done anything lately,” “I am so lazy, worthless…” “My friends will only like me if I show up for them constantly.” blah blah blah

YOU are a divine human BEING, not a human doing. You are allowed days of rest, days in bed, and especially skipping days of work or cancelling clients if you are not feeling up to it! Your chores and work is always waiting for you - but that special moment, concert, sunset, festival, travel option might not appear again. The more you show up for yourself, the more you have room in your heart to show up for others!! Do not give from an empty cup!

For me, the New Moon in Capricorn that we experienced a few weeks ago, brought up a lot of vulnerability, old feelings of not feeling worthy, overexposed, overwhelmed, and not feeling like I was doing / producing enough. For example - my goal this year was to try and create newsletters every month, but what I came to realize was I can only write and send newsletters when they feel 100% authentic. I can only pour out my complete and raw truth, and if I don’t have anything to share in that moment, it feels fake and false to send something that is not 100% from my heart and soul. I shared these sentiments with some friends a few weeks ago they sighed loudly with their hands over their hearts saying “THANK YOU! I have felt this exact same way for weeks!!”

Lately, in my sessions, I have noticed that I have been tuning a lot of right shoulders / heart - boundaries, left hips - unmet needs, and high hearts - your wings & feeling free to be yourself, to express yourself, to be seen… You are allowed to be seen for exactly who you are - a perfectly imperfect being who is doing their best.

I, myself, am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions. ~ Augusten Burroughs

I’ve talked about this to my clients, and to be honest I’ve had to have this talk with myself… follow me on this thought experiment: the fact that we’re here, living and breathing on this beautiful planet with this incredible nature and amazing sunsets and fantastic friends - is ridiculous and impossible.

How can this be? We happen to be born on this amazing rock floating through this vast space with other magical celestial bodies; the rock that we’re travelling on happens to have the perfect ratio of oxygen for us to breath, the most excellent amount of water for us to swim and even different temperatures for all needs?! We all have a favorite animal, color, crystal and flower from this rock. We all remember a perfect sunset, an epic day and a lover or friend who changed our lives forever. The possibility of having all of this good luck in a ‘vacuum’ seems to me, very low. And yet, here we are, having belly laughs that are so great and boisterous that they hurt, seeing something so beautiful that we cry, experiencing something that moves in such a way it changes our lives forever.

In my thought-experiment-opinion - none of us should be here, yet we are. None of us should be so lucky, but we are.

SO…

What if… because none of those things are probable or possible, and yet they are our reality… What if … anything is possible? What if everything is possible?

:)

So relax into being and relax into breathing. Breathe into being and breathe into relaxing.

Allow your mind to fill your body with consciousness, awareness, presence and peace - allowing for space and expansion in the vastness of yourself.

You are exactly where you should be, having the experience you are having in order for your soul’s next greatest evolution. You are home and you belong here.

<3 <3 <3

The Dark Night of the Soul

What is the Dark Night of the Soul?

The Dark Night of the Soul generally refers to a period in your life around 27-30 years old (and around 55 ish and 86ish) when Saturn returns to it’s natal placement in your astrological chart. It takes this long because of how far away Saturn is from the sun. Saturn is known as the strict disciplinarian of the zodiac, so when Saturn returns back to his original placement in your natal chart - he’s checking up on you. He wants to know if you’re living the life you’re supposed to - if yes, then great, your Saturn Return will be easy, but if not, you will experience Saturn’s wrath (for your own good) through the Dark Night of the Soul.

The Dark Night of the Soul is when Saturn returns only to witness you not living your life in alignment with your path of who you are and why you came. He will shake you emotionally, physically, emotionally and spiritually until you have no choice but to let go of everything that you’ve been holding onto, in order to make room for your soul’s purpose, your true life path, your destiny.

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. ~ Joseph Campbell

Before I go into my story, please note that what happened to me is mine, not yours :) I am not saying our Dark Night of the Soul will be the same as we are on our own unique path :)

My Dark Night of the Soul (trigger warning: SA)

My Dark Night of the Soul started around 27 years old. I remember it clearly because of how traumatizing it was (*laughs in hindsight). I had never experienced such intense anxiety in my entire life; depression - yes, but constant panic attacks - no. At the time I was living in California and working a lot - around 40-50+ hours at my subtle energy laboratory job, I was going through Yoga Teacher Training at Corepower, and I was learning Pranic Healing and Biofield Tuning all at the same time. It was a time of great mental expansion, busyness but complete overwhelm and emotional exhaustion.

I was unhappy with my job. Even though the job itself was amazing, there was a lot going on in the background that made me very uncomfortable. I was tired, and between the panic attacks and having trouble sleeping, I kept feeling this constant ‘doom’ on the horizon. I was afraid for the future because I knew I was not showing up for myself, and I knew enough to know that meant trouble. At this moment in my life I was also trying to be raw vegan / vegetarian, which is the opposite of what I should eat based on my Ayurvedic Dosha (Vata) but I did not have this wisdom until later.

There was a very specific chronology of what began to unfold. At the time, on top of everything I was learning, I was also trying to date - because as a Vata, ADHD person, why NOT try to do everything, all at once! I met a man I was interested in, he was very intelligent, charming, and in alignment with my career path. I thought I could trust him, but this was a lie and I was eventually was raped by him.

A few nights later, San Diego was experiencing one of the heaviest thunder, lightening and rainstorms we had in a very long time. I love thunder, lightening and rain so I decided to take a yoga class and stretch while the sky was expressing itself. As I left the studio there were two beautiful golden retrievers that had been left by their (irresponsible) owner to suffer in the storm. Unfortunately, these gorgeous doggos had been outside for at least an hour so they were very scared and super anxious. I could feel their stress in my own body, but I had to walk past them to get to my car, so as I walked by I put my hand up separating them from my body, and one of them jumped up and bit my hand.

When the he bit me, it felt like it hit a nerve and shot all the way up my arm, through my shoulder and into my neck (C1) and the word BETRAYAL screamed loudly in my mind. It wasn’t a bad bite, but because I had just come from a hot yoga class my hand started bleeding everywhere. I went back inside and cleaned off in the sink. Everyone in the yoga studio was super concerned but to me, it wasn’t THAT big of a deal. It wasn’t a bad bite, the dogs were scared because their dad abandoned them in the thunder and rain outside, and they were sharing a message. I shared their message with the owner and went home.

Reflecting on this event later in the evening, the word BETRAYAL resonated so deeply with me, being that I had just undergone an intense betrayal and so had the dogs; we resonated at these nodes and (in my mind) that’s why they felt safe to share this message with me.

A few days later I was in a Biofield Tuning class with Eileen playing with my hair (it helps me focus) and I touched the back of my head... When I tell you the lymph nodes on the bottom back of my head were the size of tennis balls I mean it. I was absolutely terrified. Not wanting to interrupt class and alarm the other students I waited to talk to Eileen and have her assess my head. I had already shared the recent events with her so together we were solving the puzzle as to why this happened and what this was.

My mind was very activate with fear - because I had gotten bit by an animal, a small part of me was afraid it was rabies and I counted that I had 7 days left to live (as rabies in humans is fatal). I also knew that the SA had something to do with it, which deepened my fear. Even though I perceive physical ailments the result of emotional / mental / spiritual things suddenly for the first time in a long time, my body didn’t feel safe, and that was terrifying.

I called my friend Tiffany Barsotti who is my spiritual counselor, medical medium, one of my best friends and the most in-tune people I’ve ever met in my life. I told her everything and over the phone, she tapped into my body and felt “shingles.” I told her there was no way, as I was young - and wasn’t shingles an old person’s disease??

A few days later I went to my Naturopath and got a blood test and, low and behold, Tiffany was right- it was shingles. A little patch had started to form in my neck, and then the pain in my shoulder, neck and face began. The pain was one of the worse pains I’ve ever had in my life, every time I spoke, yawned, sneezed or moved there would be a sharp pain from my shoulder that radiated electrically all the way up into the entire side of my face. It felt like someone was taking a cleaver to my nerve endings. It was awful.

The Naturopath I trusted put me on homeopathic remedies, natural topical pain-relief creams and for the next two weeks I smoked a lot of weed, rested, journaled, meditated, and reflected. I learned that shingles, according to Dr. Louise Hay means, “waiting for the other shoe to drop. Fear and tension, too sensitive.” This resonated deeply with me as I knew I wasn’t living my true path and that I was being called away to a different life but I wasn’t listening.

Saturn was shaking me by the shoulders, and in my weakened state I was finally listening. Saturn had made me let go of everything that I was holding (yoga, work, social life, school) so I could finally hear the song of my soul. I thought about the first trauma, perhaps too easily trusting and lack of boundaries (not victim blaming or gaslighting myself, just considering a different maneuver in the future). I thought about the second trauma with the dog yelling BETRAYAL with that shockwave going up my arm: was I betraying myself? My truth? My path? I thought about the shingles - waiting for the other shoe to drop… If I didn’t leave this life that was no longer serving me, while this other life was pulling my hair, screaming at me to do so, what else was my physical body going to have to go through?

I healed surprisingly fast, or maybe not so surprisingly as all my friends in California are healers of different kinds; they cooked me food, they let me use their energy healing devices, they did distance sessions on me and I was able to heal myself by getting to the root of why this happened in in the first place.

After completely surrendering to this pain and to my Dark Night I was ready to live my most authentic life that was waiting for me on the other side; so I decided to leave my job and travel the world.

Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray. ~ Rumi

I started in Bali with my best friend Laura with no plan and I ended up traveling for 9 months. Through synchronicity I met my best friend David in Bali, with whom I adventured with throughout the entire island. I went to Borneo because as a child I was obsessed with Duck Tales (Duck Tales fans understand).

I went to India and worked the International Yoga Festival in Rishikesh and while living there I urban explored the Beatles Ashram (#lifegoal) and later found another best friend, Leah. Together, Leah and I went to one of the first Hindu temples for sunrise and the Taj Mahal together.

I left India for Nepal also by synchronicity (Read my Everest Blog here) and solo Hiked Mount Everest for my 30th birthday (#soulactivation) and fell in love in Pokhara, a lakeside village. After Nepal, I went to live in Ireland with Gillian, a best friend I had met through synchronicity on the plane to Nepal.

I traveled to Switzerland teaching Biofield Tuning and then to Spain with the other friends I made along the way (through synchronicity of course). I went cliff jumping and island hopping in Croatia, visited the small beaches of Bosnia Herzegovina and ate my way through Italy.

The dark night of the soul comes just before revelation. When everything is lost, and all seems darkness, then comes the new life and all that is needed. ~ Joseph Campbell

It was the most magical trip of my life and the best thing I’ve ever done for myself (besides doing Ayahuasca in Peru). Before I left, the only countries planned were Bali, Malaysia and India; the rest I left up to the universe. On this trip I lost myself, I found myself, I discovered and uncovered aspects of myself that I could only find by being alone with myself. I became braver, more curious, my intuition expanded, my heart and international family grew. The world became smaller and more friendly as I walked around it.

The moral of this story is - live your life the way YOU want to. No one else knows your path except you. If something is calling to you, it’s calling to you for a reason. If there is something that you’ve always wanted to do, do it! There is no time like the present.

Listen to your inner voice and follow your heart.

How to Prepare for Eclipses & Eclipse Seasons

Eclipses show up about every 18 months so to have two eclipse seasons - 4 eclipses - in one year is a rare event. (Although I feel like anytime I explain a celestial movement lately, it’s been a ‘rare event.’)

Our first Eclipse Season this year started on April 30th, 2022 when we experienced a partial Solar Eclipse in Taurus and then ended with a Full Moon Total Lunar Eclipse in Scorpio on May 16th, 2022. Remember what you were going through during this time. Look back at your journal or planner or voice recordings.

This has been a very intense year astrology speaking.

This August - October we had SIX planets in retrograde: Mercury, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. Mercury rules how we think and communicate. Jupiter how we expand, learn and grow. Saturn holds stricter lessons for us, how we work and what we produce. Uranus rules our imagination in a rebellious nature. Neptune rules how we dream and wonder. Pluto rules how we transform and are reborn.

If you were feeling very intense emotions and experiencing life just dissolve underneath you and then just as quickly expand around you, this is why.

Mercury was our first planet to go direct on October 2nd, but the shadow can last a several days to weeks later. The other planets will follow suit going direct from now until January 2023: Jupiter goes direct November 23rd. Saturn directs October 23rd. Uranus is direct January 22nd, 2023. Neptune directs December 3rd and finally Pluto goes direct October 8th.

Eclipse season shows us change is necessary.

Eclipse Season means chaos - and there are many astrological warnings to not begin anything new nor manifest. This is because Eclipse Season is highly transformational already. You are moving through a new ‘portal’ or ‘dimension’ of your life. This can mean things are already ending; you are shedding the skin of your past and blossoming into something new already. Thus, if you try and manifest during this time - the things you manifest might not be what you want after this cycle ends.

There is a Full Moon in Aries on October 9th - this ignites the firey activations inside of us that need to come out and be expressed (perhaps just to release them) while balancing the need to take care of ourselves - with the sun illuminating Libra.

On October 25th we have a New Moon Partial Solar Eclipse in Scorpio. Solar Eclipse energy is known to bring about destabilizing new beginnings. Scorpio, as we’ve spoken about before, rules the underworld aka death; but whereas death is transformation. Keywords are new beginnings, destruction (which leads to creation), and transformation. Think: KALI!

Total Lunar Full Moon Eclipse on November 8th in Taurus. A Total Lunar Eclipse has the power of THREE full moons!! The moon rules emotions and the subconscious as well. Full moons are time to release so get ready to purge the inner corners of your soul. Action: SELF CARE.

Then Eclipse Year that began this spring finally comes to a close…

sigh of relief

…And THEN - because this year’s intention was to pluck us up from our roots so that we let go of what we thought life would be, so the universe can lay out its plan for us - Mars goes retrograde in Gemini on October 30th. This is not ideal due to the fact that this placement can be very inflammatory. HOWEVER…. after your evolution through 6 retrogrades and the completion of a 4 eclipse year - you just might be prepared to handle whatever this Mars retrograde throws at you :)

How to Prepare for Eclipses & Eclipse Season

Things you can do for this Full moontime & Eclipse Season:

• Clean: out your closet, your pantry, your house.

• Organize: your thoughts by journaling. I organize my very fast thoughts with voice memo’s on my phone :)

• Releasing / Purging: write things that you would like to release (old patterns old discomfort and tension) down on tiny pieces of paper and then burn them to softly release them away from you.

• Own your shit: repressing things doesn’t help anyone. Remember what we don’t like in other people is sometimes because it’s a wound reflected in ourselves. People are mirrors.

• Notice when you get triggered: Anger & frustration are great times to ask yourself “why is this visiting me right now,” “what does this emotion have to teach me?”

Pro tip to remember dreams: when you wake up don’t immediately move. The position you’re in can encapsulate the dream; so upon waking, stay as still as possible, grab your phone and do a voice recording.

Pro tip to lucid dream: look at your hands throughout the day as a symbol for when you dream. When dreaming, see if you can look at your hands and that will symbolize you ‘waking’ in the dream. Once awake in the dream, ask the dream characters where you are, and what time and day it is.

Eclipses are powerful times to learn more about yourself. Allow everything to be a teacher. Take this time to love yourself and be compassionate to yourself. Practice very gentle self care and alone time! Salt baths, journal, walks in woods with the tree canopy above your head!

Ego death

This blog was inspired by the ebb and flow of 2022’s double eclipse season, 6 planet retrograde autumn, a naturally occurring Mercury retrograde that shows up whenever you don’t need it to (joking joking) and a Mars in Gemini to make the end of 2022 extra spicy.

~

imposter syndrome

July 13th 2022 was the Full Moon in Capricorn, which, I don’t know about you guys, but gave me the BIGGEST imposter syndrome of my life! I was in the middle of transitioning homes again (as usual) and I couldn’t shake this feeling of unease and uncomfortability in my own skin.

“Who am I? What am I doing? Does BT still work? Does Sonic Soul Retrieval transcend the depths like I think it does? Am I kidding myself? How did I get this far in life when I feel like such a failure at 35? What’s next for me? Is there anything that could be greater than my life so far? Is it just a downward spiral from here?”

I was questioning the very fabric of my own existence.

Thanks to (and sometimes to the detriment of) my inner monologue - it reminded me what I was learning in a Shamanism course: healing is not fixing all the parts you don’t like about yourself - it’s finding love and acceptance for those parts too.

~ big deep breath ~

Remember - perfection is a myth.

For the earth signs about to disagree: it’s a myth. I promise. It’s one of the only things I can say with 100% certainty. Perfection argues there are no mistakes… and we all know that is not reality. Like, that is not anyone’s reality, anywhere on the planet!!

We also know that the present moment is a gift and that’s why it’s called the present. Our future blossoms from our RIGHT NOW.

So.

What we can do RIGHT NOW?

Can you find patience, compassion and forgiveness for yourself? Can you return to your breath and find comfort in the discomfort?

Can you be okay with not being okay?

Sometimes all I can do is walk in nature, with the tree canopy over my head; and oftentimes that’s all it takes for me to come back to myself. Even if my head doesn’t make sense, nature always makes sense.

In other words, imposter syndrome is just another part of ourselves that we need to embrace and love, rather than reject and suppress. By acknowledging our imposter syndrome and accepting it as a natural part of our journey, we can move beyond its limitations and tap into our true potential. We can recognize that everyone feels this way!

The July 27th 2022 New Moon in Leo gave me hope and energy and optimism to write out what I wanted for the future. It breathed the light back into my Solar Plexus and blew the embers back into my Soul to spark the new-beginnings-energy of this moon. This moon whispered an Ayahuasca Ceremony toward me in order to root my intentions in all dimensions of myself. Getting clear with my intentions and making those intentions known to all corners of the multiverse.

ego* death

I have found (and many others too) that when you embark on an Ayahuasca ceremony you have what is known as an “ego death.” This means less of ME and more of WE, we start to be less concerned with the Avatar or the ‘self’ and become more concerned with All, or the Soul, or the ‘Self.’ When the ego dissolves, it makes way for a deeper awareness of the interconnectedness of all things. Ayahuasca allows all the extra stuff that we’ve layered on throughout life to be peeled away to get back to our chocolate-y nougat-y center.

What is you vs what your parents told you? Are you leading or are you following? What are your knee jerk reactions vs the ones you’ve been taught? Are you living your best life or are you afraid of your own light? What are your stories vs the ones you’ve been told? Through this process we are free to rewrite old stories and create new ones, based on our authentic experiences and inner truth.

To achieve ego death, we must be willing to confront our fears, doubts, and insecurities, in order to be open to the possibility of radical transformation.

'Can a man still be brave if he's afraid? '

'That is the only time a man can be brave.’ ~ Ned Stark

Ultimately, the experience of ego death and working through imposter syndrome can be so liberating!! It allows us to live more fully and authentically, with a greater sense of connection to ourselves, others, and the world around us. By embracing these processes, we can access our innermost truths, deepen our integrity, connect to our truth and live in alignment with our highest potential :)

Remember: You are made of divinity embodied stardust and you deserve to be here.

* Disclaimer - the ego is not necessarily a bad thing. Think of it as an angsty teen protecting the inner child. Wanting to ‘rid yourself of the ego’ is, of course, completely egoic! ‘Ego Death’ refers to the dissolution of what you identify as yourself during special circumstances i.e. plant medicine or intense spiritual awakenings.

Crystals - a how to guide

I love crystals. And honestly, who doesn’t? Who can deny the absolute awesomeness of an insanely colorful, completely natural, divinely manifested and moleculed, stunning shimmery organic compound that houses a crystalline consciousness?

Crystals, along with rainbows, shooting stars and love, show us every day that the world is a magical place.

Since I was a child I was mesmerized by the crystals in my family home. My dad had crystals on all of our shelves and countertops, crystals hanging from the ceiling in the corners of rooms, crystals in the window that would playfully cast rainbows on the opposite walls when they caught the sun. His best friend’s gift to me when I was born was a beautiful quartz crystal. I have been surrounded by crystals my entire life. Literally. 

On family vacations after I was done running or swimming off all of my energy I could be found strolling the beaches of the Great Lakes, neck bent and head down looking for the ~ perfect stones ~  to take home with me to adorn my dresser to remind me of summer, or vacation, or a just a time away from normal life. 

To this day one of my favorite gifts to give is rocks or stones from my wanderings around the world. Several best friends boast rocks from Ireland, shells from Bali and the isolated beaches of Vietnam, and even rocks from my trip to Mount Everest Base Camp :)

Rocks, stones, shells; things from the mineral kingdom have always held a special place in my heart and they continue to do so. But now the mineral kingdom and I work together for a larger purpose and vision.

I have studied the metaphysical and healing properties of crystals since childhood. I have always intuitively understood them and later in life I studied with a Crystal Gridding mentor and was Certified in Crystal Healing in 2015. I use Crystal Grids in all of my sessions. Honoring the Mineral Kingdom and welcoming them into a session is an amazing way to help unstick you, unsabotage you, expand you and ground you.

Crystals have been used for many different purposes for thousands (if not millions) of years. Crystals amplify energy, which is why today they’re used in clocks and computers. However, I’m not here to convince you of this truth. If you’re here reading this, you’re here to learn how to select and clean your crystals and what crystals to use and why :)

First things first, how do you select a crystal?

I find the most important thing when it comes to finding a crystal is finding it in-person. I know this can be kind of annoying with the convenience of the internet. Of course, this can be done at a distance, like all things, but in this case it is my personal preference to find a crystal in-person. This is a sacred ritual, because you are not so much choosing the stone, as the stone is choosing you. 

In-person is also important in the way you feel the crystal.

I’ll share with you my process: after finding the local crystal shop, I find a shelf or area of crystals that I feel drawn to. This can be through my eyes (sight) or by how they feel inside my body/ heart (intention). I stand near this area, close my eyes, rub my hands together and ask “which one of you wants to come home with me,” (you can totally say something else, but this is what I say!)

After rubbing my hands together I scan over the shelf with my left hand, palm facing down. This is because the left hand is the receiving hand. As I slowly scan, I wait for what feels like a *ping!* on the palm of my left hand, open my eyes and I’m looking at my new crystalline friend.

If you’re only looking for one and you find there are several crystals under your palm at this point you can take them aside, separate them and do this process again.

Awesome, now I have my crystal, now what?

Great question! Now you need to clean it!

Once bringing my new friend home I smudge them using Palo Santo or sage (depending on how you’ve locally and ethically sourced that item) clean them off with the smoke. 

You can also clean your crystal with soap and water OR salt water - important exceptions for water cleanses are: selenite, labradorite, tourmaline, kyanite, lapis and opal.

If you are an energy or sound healer you can use your modality - sound, vibration, tuning forks, crystal bowls, 528 frequency, your voice etc.

You can use your intention, meditation and the breath.

You can bury your crystals and allow the earth’s negative ions and the mineral kingdom to wash them clean.

If you have a large stone that has a geode formation and large opening you can clean your new crystals using your other crystals! I have a beautiful hollowed amethyst that cleanses my rings and other gemstone jewelry. Kyanite (listed below) is also the crystal-cleanser-of-crystals!

You can leave them in your windowsill and allow them to be cleansed by sunlight and moonlight. 

Great, and then….?

Now, we ENERGIZE them!

So your new friends are almost ready to go! Oftentimes, the method you used to clean the crystal can also charge them - with the exception of cleansing them with soap/salt water. I like to energize my crystals with the light of the next full moon, now if I’m being fair, this may be my Sun in Cancer talking, but I feel like the moon has a special relationship with crystals and that is my initial energy boost! 

I also energize my stones with the power of sound. Sound is Sacred.

Crystal bowls, Tibetan bowls, digeridoos, Koshi Chimes, the music of thunder and rain, or the sound of monks chanting Om. Sound is incredibly powerful and gives rise to form. In the last few years we’ve been able to see the shape of sound visualized via the images of cymatics which is awe-inspiring.

Which ones are the best* and/or your favorite?

If you're just beginning your journey into crystals I recommend getting "The Crystal Bible" or a similar reference-style book. This will have a comprehensive list of all crystals. Here I will share my favorite ones.

I use crystals in my work to amplify the frequency of the intention I am sending or what specific tone I happen to be using. Metaphysically, all crystals have specific properties that can help accentuate a quality, help a problem and/or bring about a solution.

Most of these stones I take with me wherever I go, and have them in several different sizes or jewelry to make them easily portable.

It’s impossible for me to have one “favorite” stone: so listed below are [most] of my favorite stones.

*contains opinions :)

Amethyst - connects you to the outer realms of magic and mystery. It opens up your higher chakras and allows your psychic abilities to strengthen. It helps balance mind, body and soul and activates your spiritual awareness. Can promote serenity and calmness. Can assist in enlightenment. It can also help dissolve surrounding negative energies. I love using Amethyst, Citrine and Rose Quartz together.

Angel Phantom or Amphibole Quartz - is called this because the crystal can contain phantoms or tiny rainbows that are considered conscious / angels / spirit guides. Angel Phantom helps to connect you to the angelic realm and helps in meditation and channeling, and like amethyst, it helps with receiving divine guidance from above. Helps connect you with spirit guides, with lucid dreaming and astral travel. It helps amplify the power of other stones.

Citrine - just embodies the feeling of happiness. Citrine is generally used for the solar plexus although I use it on other chakras. It helps with creativity, strength, success, increasing energy, optimism and joy. It can increase confidence and help you reclaim your your personal power. Citrine reminds of the quote from Lord of the Rings: “I give you the light of Eärendil, our most beloved star. May it be a light for you in dark places, when all other lights go out.”

Labradorite - like amethyst, I often wear this stone, as well as using it in my healing spaces. Labradorite looks how the Aurora Borealis feels. Labradorite is a shaman’s stone in the way that it protects you, activates you and allows you to transform by unlocking your true power. It is said that it was born of cosmic energy and helps you transcend your blockages by letting things rest and becoming who we were meant to be. I love wearing Labradorite and Moonstone together.

Lemurian crystals - are different from normal quartz crystals. The Lemurian crystal will have striations on one or more sides - this is said to be similar technology to a barcode - if you hold it right and tap into it correctly - you can download the information that it holds. The reason I like to use them is because it holds all the information of all crystals in the world - so if you're traveling and want to use citrine, but all you have is your Lemurian crystal, you can tap in and summon the energy of citrine through your Lemurian crystal. For more fun, google the ancient land of Lemuria.

Kyanite - the stone that cleans all other stones because it does not absorb negative energies. I have tiny pieces of kyanite that act as my cleansers in between moon phases. Kyanite balances us, removes blockages in our body and from our path. Kyanite protects, shields, and unfucks your life.

Moldavite - is an extraterrestrial stone, that many believe have come to us at this time to help us transcend into the next vibration or phase or dimension. I touched Moldavite at a music festival once and my body wouldn’t stop vibrating for hours. It is extremely powerful and very grounding, yet expanding and because of its cosmic otherworldy nature can assist in connection to higher dimensions. It helps with spiritual awakening and transformation. I like using Moldavite in my clients’ Merkaba. Moldavite and Nuummite work well together.

Moonstone - is another stone I wear daily. I love using Moonstone with Labradorite as they are sister stones. As a Cancerian woman I am ruled by the moon, and I find Moonstone (and Labradorite) are the stones I am most consistently attracted too. Moonstone holds and stewards moonlight, it helps with clarity, connection to the moon and thus your phases and feminine, wild creative side. It helps soften and assist spiritual awakening and increases sensitivity to psychic abilities. Moonstone helps with dreaming and also is a stone of protection.

Nuummite - is very grounding and cleansing but also connects to higher realms. It is very ancient and carries with it deep earth wisdom. It helps with past lives, dreams, Akashic Records, and psychic abilities. It can connect you with your spirit guides. Nuummite is a powerful amulet that can shield from dark energies and also cleanse the field from dark energies, negative energies and thought forms.

Obsidian - is a classic cleansing stone! I use Obsidian and Selenite together - one white, one black resulting in total harmony. Obsidian cleanses the field from dark energies, and protects you by absorbing negative energies and it is very grounding. It can dissolve old ways of being, old thought forms and attachments. Obsidian keeps your (third) eye open and you aware of your surroundings. It can help you see truth.

Preseli bluestone - is the only stone I’ve ever owned that came with an actual warning. I got my Preseli bluestone from it’s native land - in the stone circles in Ashbury, England. It has a strong connection to the heart and it is advised to use it sparingly at first while you become acquainted with it’s strength. It is known as the Merlin Stone. It helps with past life regression and clearing the old versions of you in this life so that you may move on unencumbered.

Rose Quartz - the gentle and compassionate healer stone. Rose Quartz is very powerful healing stone but because it’s wisdom teaches gentleness it can be used with any very powerful stone to allow the receiver to receive without becoming overwhelmed. It heals emotional wounding and promotes love, and connecting to oneself and one’s heart. Enhances inner peace. Helps you align with yourself and your soul purpose.

Rutilated Quartz - helps enhance your intuition, it promotes self trust. It connects to higher angelic realms and dimensions. It is a conductor of energy, helps in channeling and amplifies energy. It resonates and balances all 7 chakras. It helps you see truth and increases spiritual healing and guidance. It can be used to magnify the power of other stones. Rutiliated Quartz is a Sorcerer’s stone.

Selenite -  the classic cleansing stone. I always have one in my healing space. It absorbs, cleanses and dissolves negative energy. I like using Selenite with Obsidian. I have several sticks of Selenite including a Selenite dagger to remove attachments and thought forms. Selenite is a purifier, helps with rejuvenation and, like moonstone, contains divine feminine energy. It helps to connect to angelic realms and teaches us that there is power in softness.

Shunguite - literally has antioxidants in it. I keep my Shunguite Pyramid in my shower to access its water purification abilities. Because it has antioxidants in it, it is thought to have antinflammatory properties. It can activate all 7 chakras. It cleanses and guards against all negatives energies including EMF’s. It’s a stone of protection.

if you have any questions regarding crystals please just let me know! I’d love to help you find your new friend :)

Returning Your Sparkle, Your Childlike Essence

begin at the beginning… and go on ~ Lewis Carroll

It is never too late to start over and to try something new. The bravest people I know do this all the time. These sentiments remind me of the process I use in sound healing to return your sparkle and your childlike essence to you.

Remember, anything that is electrical produces a magnetic field perpendicular to itself. We are electrical and our Biofield is an electromagnetic field that surrounds us. As I work through your Biofield, I am able to hear and locate Paradigm Shifts, which are neither good nor bad, they just are. These can be times when a sibling was born, you moved houses, or a parent got a new job. These situations can create stress in which the body leaks light outside itself and into our field. As we age these pockets of light (biophotons) are trapped in standing waves in the field around our body that expand and move farther away as we get older, much like the rings of a tree.

As I gently move through the field discovering these pockets of light and guiding them back to the body the comments I receive are consistently “I feel so much lighter.” This is due to two reasons. One; we are returning light that has mass back to your body, so your body no longer has to hold up density outside itself. You feel lighter as in weightless. The second reason is because what we are returning is light particles, your literal sparkle! When those are integrated back into the body you feel lighter as in brightness!

If you want to think about this in mathematical terms, say you experienced a paradigm shift in which 10 Biophotons leaked into your field. For simplicity lets say these 10 Biophotons weigh 10 lbs each. 10 Biophotons x 10lbs each = 100 lbs of Biophotons are hanging out in your field. This means that 1. your body has lost 100lbs of Biophotons that it should have and is also having to 2. hold up 100lbs of Biophotons outside itself. So you could say the body is not only at a weakened state (losing weight) but also having to do more work (holding up weight where it shouldn’t be). These Biophotons are not bad, they are just lost pieces of you that desperately want to be reunited with you.

My perception of what I am shepherding back to you is: your light, your sparkle, your essence, your childlike wonder and awe for the world; essentially pieces of yourself that you have lost along the way due to unfortunate circumstance. It is truly a chance to begin again because these fragments of your self have been returned to your Self.

When we guide your sparkle back to you this also removes the ‘tracks that were laid down’ in early life. What I mean by this is someone who came into the world not feeling safe can create a life that feels unsafe, and can surround themselves with people who don’t feel safe (subconsciously) to gather evidence and confirm that life isn’t safe. When we return your sparkle we remove the ‘tracks’ that were laid down because those tracks are made of your light. The light or sparkle isn’t bad, because it’s you! However, the way the light glitters in your field and holds an electric charge it could also be referred to as a trigger.

As you know, triggers can attract familiar situations that will in turn validate our fears and cause us to react intensely. Due to the fact most triggers are unconscious they also can create an automatic reaction - like yelling, lashing out, or freezing. When we return your sparkle back to you we create a pause or a breath in between the situation, emotion, and the reaction. This rewiring is similar to neuroplasticity because we are creating a new reaction (pathway); through sound healing we are also strengthening and reinforcing your centeredness and alignment.

By returning your sparkle and having your life force returned to you, you are literally ‘leveling up’ in life because you are more aligned with your truth and authenticity.

Faraday Cage Experiments at the California Institute for Human Science

Eileen McKusick teamed up with me when I was working at a Subtle Energy Laboratory in San Diego, California around June of 2015. We had met a year prior at the Annual Subtle Energy Conference located on the campus of the California Institute for Human Science (CIHS) in May of 2014.

During this conference I was performing Electrophotonic Imaging of the finger tips based on the Korean Su Jok hand acupuncture system with one of my Subtle Energy (SE) measuring devices. While I was running my device, I heard Eileen speak on plasma and Biofield Tuning; I was immediately drawn to her charisma, knowledge and down-to-earth nature. We spoke after the conference and became instant friends.

I gave Eileen a tour of the Subtle Energy Laboratory and all of the different devices between the Lab and CIHS's lab. Eileen wanted to do some research regarding her Biofield Tuning sessions; specifically her group distance sessions.

She noticed when she did group distance sessions there would be noticeable temperature variations within the room. Also, people gave her feedback about how it felt that she was in the actual room with them, even if they were miles away! So we put our research hats on and decided to run an experiment in the Faraday cage we had on campus; CIHS's Faraday cage is a special copper-shielded enclosure created to block Electromagnetic waves from entering.

We had Eileen enter the Faraday cage and use a glass of water as the hologram of the people she was going to tune. We were measuring and quantifying any emittance of biophotons (light particles emitted by a biological organism) from the glass of water with the BioPhoton Counter. While we were waiting, Eileen also began to tune herself in preparation and also as a test run to make sure she could tune in a completely dark, microwave free, completely isolated chamber all the while being grounded.

Observations:

• From Eileen McKusick: “As a control, I decided to first do a session on my own hologram to try out the Faraday cage before I did a session for 300 people. I was working on myself and I hit an obstacle around self-love on the right side of my heart, in an area corresponding to a trauma I experienced between the ages of three and four. In that moment of encountering a painful aspect of this wound that I had never encountered before, I realized that I was being witnessed. I felt that I was being witnessed by the universe, nature, the whole, God -- whatever you want to call it.”

• Eileen also noticed significant temperature shifts in the room. When she first entered the room the temperature went up 1/2 a degree (which can be expected due to body heat). During the control the temperature went DOWN and then the temperature increased 2.5 degrees during the group tuning which the thermometer noted as well and is considered significant.

• The BioPhoton Counter came out variable and we wondered if using a crystal instead of a glass of water would have been a better idea

Next Steps Moving Forward:

• We would like to do more testing & we find it beneficial to conduct experiments in a Faraday Cage where all microwaves and other outside influences are removed

• Next time we would like to use a crystal instead of a glass of water as we think the structured organization of the atoms of a crystal would hold the hologram better

Overall, it was a fun experiment to perform and resulted in more questions and ideas for better study design in the future! At its root, science is a method of inquiry and we look forward to continue applying it to Biofield Tuning and other energy healing modalities in order to discover and understand more!

Sources:

www.cihs.edu

www.eileenmckusick.com

www.biofieldtuning.com

Anechoic Chamber Experiments at Hathaway Research Laboratory

Eileen McKusick, myself & another colleague traveled to Hathaway Labs located in Toronto, Canada in May of 2019 in order to conduct some research in an anechoic chamber. An Anechoic chamber, simply put, means "anti-echo" or a room designed to completely absorb reflections of sound or electromagnetic waves. This room designed by George Hathaway was designed to also not allow EM (electromagnetic) waves from entering the chamber from the outside. The chamber is also grounded; meaning any excess electricity is safely directed to the ground outside.

We had planned to meet up with a Toronto-based recording studio but they no-called no-showed, so we made due with a zoom recorder, oscilliscope, spectral analyzer and good old-fashioned note taking. Despite the recording studio not showing up we were still able to make some incredible observations with the help of George Hathaway and his quick inventions he was able to create to support us in our research & observations (i.e. the boom).

We were observing what we noticed as the 1. Tuning Practitioner 2. the session Receiver and 3. the Witness. We had a copper grounding wire that we took turns grounding ourselves to see what we noticed. We also tried putting the tuning fork in a boom and moving the boom around (like an arm) to see the effect of human vs machine as Tuning fork operator.

The following observations were noticed:

- We loved the opportunity to freely create experiments in an anechoic chamber that was able to completely isolate the sounds from the tuning forks

- Grounding (at least) one of us during the session was necessary: the tone brightened immediatley with one of us being grounded. With no one being grounded we all felt clausterphobic and had difficulty breathing.

- The session went without issue when the Tuning Practitioner (TP) or Receiver (R) was grounded. This makes obvious sense to us and is why breathing and grounding is paramount in the beginning of one's session. Having only the Witness grounded still created feelings of unease in the TP & R.

- None of us felt well when the fork was in the boom; we experienced difficulty breathing, and felt dissassociated. However, the moment one of us touched the boom to complete the circuit we all noticed a huge improvement in our feelings sense.

- We noticed that when the fork was in the boom we were able to hear the fundamental tone but not many high/low tones. When it was in our hand we were able to differentiate the variation between the high/mid/ and low tones. This variation is important as the difference in tones allows us to discover patterns and "hear" emotions.

Next steps:

- We'd like to conduct further research in an Anechoic Chamber

- We want to do a Spectrograph analysis in real time

- We want our recording studio people to show up in order professionally record the sound :p

Sources:

www.eileenmckusick.com

www.biofieldtuning.com

www.hathawayresearch.com/

Sharla Snow & Jess discuss Thermography & Breast Health

The following tale is shared with Sharla's permission, of course.

Sharla & Jess talk Thermography!

Sharla Snow is a client of mine for Medical Thermal Imaging (Thermography). Medical Thermal Imaging is a way to scan the physiology/ blood flow of the body (as opposed to structure). This differs from mammography in the sense that Thermography is looking for PRE-disease patterns, or in other terms, Thermography is a preventive scan. By the time you realize you have a tumor (structure) the disease has gone from it's infancy stage (inflammation) all the way to it's end stage: a tumor.

Sharla came to see me in the fall of 2016 after she found a lump in her breast but didn't feel comfortable getting a mammogram due to the radiation, compression and pain. We performed her Thermogram and a week later her Medical Thermal Imaging Report came back abnormal due to a large asymmetry in the heat, distribution, and intensity of the thermal patterns in her left breast. The doctor who wrote Sharla's report recommended proactive and holistic protocols: that she do lymphatic drainage, dry brushing, perhaps introduce Vitamin D3, selenium and other healthy supplements into her diet with various other lifestyle changes.

Sharla responded quickly and rose to the occasion to help her situation. She is a distributor of essential oils and extremely holistically minded, so by the time she came back for her follow-up in February of 2017 she had enacted many natural protocols into her life and her report came back noting the improvements; specifically, the thermal patterns in her left breast had decreased!

Sharla posted her story & images on facebook and it went viral. Everyone asked Sharla what she did, what the pictures meant, what Thermography was, etc etc.

Sharla asked if her and I could give a talk to help educate and empower women - so we did! 

The following is our talk; if you have any questions please feel free to contact me :) <3

What is thermography? Is it safe? Why have you never heard of it before? How is it helpful? What are the benefits? 

Alternative Health Tools Podcast Interviews Jess

John Biethan is the host of Alternative Health Tools, a Southern California based podcast that shares alternative health tools, tips and resources from complementary, alternative and holistic healthcare practitioners. 

John & Jess met at INNER TEMPLE one fateful Tuesday in 2016, bonding over Tuning Forks and the magical healing properties of sound.

The rest is history...

Dry Brushing

This article was featured in The Life Connection in November 2016.

What is dry brushing?

Dry brushing, or garshana, is the ancient Ayurvedic practice of brushing your skin in the morning in order to loosen impurities on the skin.

Dry brushing removes dead skin cells from the surface of the skin, and in doing so allows for better detoxification at the skins surface. Dry brushing also improves lymphatic flow and thus increasing vitamin absorption throughout the body by increasing circulation. Constant dry brushing helps to break up areas of stagnation and “stuckness,” getting rid of toxic buildup in the body.

Dry brushing is best done in the morning before you shower because it has a mild ‘caffeine’ effect where your body feels buzzed and invigorated! Due to it’s massage-like effects, dry brushing is also stress relieving and has meditative effects.

Also, the side effects aren’t that bad and may include the reduction of cellulite & glowing skin 

How to select a dry brush:

The brush must be made of natural resources – such as a wood or bamboo brush with natural bristles. This is very important, brushing the skin with a plastic brush contains impurities that will then collect on the skin. The skin is the largest organ of your body, so it’s imperative to use a natural brush to gain all of the benefits of Dry Brushing.

Dry brushes are the brushes you see in any “shower” aisle of Target, Home Goods, Bed, Bath & Beyond and they range from $3-$10. The longer handle extends your arm & makes it easier to get to hard to reach areas like your mid-back.

How to dry brush:

·         Dry brush for about 5-10 minutes in the morning before you shower.

·         Use firm pressure over the main areas, but lighter pressure over areas where the skin is thinner & more sensitive. Your skin should be pink after you brush, not red & irritated.

·         Always brush UP towards your heart, brushing away from your heart will add stress on the heart.

·         Brush UP your arms and UP your legs.

·         Avoid painful areas

·         Use circular motions over the joints

·         Finish your Garshana with a shower to wash away all the impurities you have removed from your skin.

The difference Dry Brushing makes!!!

Client A: Medical Thermal Image of someone who dry brushes daily & makes their own homemade non-toxic deodorant (green = normal)

Client B: Medical Thermal Image of someone who has never heard of dry brushing & uses store-bought toxic deodorant (red/white = hottest areas indicating extreme inflammation)

Other Lymphatic Tips:

·         Self-massage your neck & shoulders with coconut oil

·         Jump on a trampoline for 5 minutes a day to improve lymph flow

·         Exercise by running, walking or jogging, any UP and DOWN movement to stimulate lymph circulation

·         Massage your lymph nodes in your neck near the bend in your mandible (jaw bone), massage your armpits, lower abdomen & inguinal area – these areas contain the largest lymph nodes

o   Tip: you’ve probably felt your lymph nodes in your neck if you’ve ever gotten sick, they will swell to about the size of a dime!

·         Make your own deodorant!! Normal store-bought deodorant contains aluminum, (which has been found in the brain of people with Alzheimer’s) parabens & phthalates interfere with hormones in the body- notably estrogen & testosterone which can lead to chronic disease.

o   Tip: my favorite [read: easy] deodorant to make is Wellness Mama’s Natural DIY Deodorant, Deodorant #2 which contains 4 ingredients!! Find it here: http://wellnessmama.com/1523/natural-deodorant/

·         Get a lymphatic drainage massage from a professional

·         Reduce your risk of cumulative radiation by choosing Thermography as your health assessment! www.psy-tek.com

Sources:

1.       http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2014/02/24/dry-skin-brushing.aspx

2.       http://www.chopra.com/articles/garshana-detoxify-at-home-with-ayurvedic-skin-brushing

3.       http://wellnessmama.com/1523/natural-deodorant/

4.       www.psy-tek.com

Thermography: A Safe Breast Health Assessment

The following article, written by me, was published in the Gerson Institute's Spring 2016 magazine.

For years, new research has been calling into question the effectiveness of mammography. As a result, the American Cancer Society (ACS) changed their stance on mammograms in October 2015. ACS previously recommended that annual mammograms begin at 40 years of age. But now with increased knowledge of the limitations and potential harms of mammography, the ACS recommends that annual screening shouldn’t start until age 45 and should change to every two years starting at 55(1)!

Thermography is a non-invasive way to study the physiology of the human body (as differentiated from ultrasound and mammograms, which study the structure of the body). Thermography simply detects subtle variations in skin temperature using an infrared camera in a temperature-controlled room, which can provide clues to what is going on beneath the surface of the skin. Humans are infrared beings that give off energy in the form of heat.  An infrared camera (think night-vision) is heat-sensitive. Whereas a mammogram emits ionizing radiation through your compressed breast tissue, on a thermogram you radiate your energy toward the camera. Thus, nothing is passed through your body.  Another very common example of using heat to detect illness is getting your temperature checked at a doctor’s visit, because fever (excess heat) implies infection or dis-ease.

Hippocrates is considered the “father of modern medicine” as we know it. You may have heard of the Hippocratic Oath that present-day doctors still take, promising to “do no harm.” Something less well-known is that Hippocrates is also the “father of thermography.” In 400 AD, Hippocrates smeared wet clay over his patients’ bodies looking for patterns in the clay as it dried. He noticed that some areas dried more quickly than others, because of excess internal heat. He is quoted as saying “in whatever part of the body excess heat or cold is felt, there is disease to be discovered.” (2)

Left photo – A slurry of wet clay on a patient the way that Hippocrates would have used it, quickly dried around the umbilicus (belly button) indicating excess heat.

Right photo – Thermogram showing excess heat in the exact same area around the umbilicus.

Cancer is fed by the body’s own blood supply. Thermography can detect the increased heat that results from the early development of vascularity (angiogenesis) to feed the cancer. Cancer occurs in our body when the normal cell-death mechanism (called apoptosis or regulated cell death) turns off. The cell “forgets” to die and continues growing, untamed and unchecked. (3) Because this process begins on a cellular level, no solid mass forms right away, only a small gathering of cells. Only after growing for a certain number of years does a cancerous tumor become large enough to finally be seen on a mammogram.

The chart below was developed from Dr. Michael Retsky’s cancer-growth research showing that the possible observation times for a mammogram to find a tumor are near the end of the tumor’s growth, which is not early detection.  His research found that breast cancer typically doubles in volume in about 100 days. Since mammography is usually able to find breast tumors at approximately 1 cm, he estimates the usual time to detect breast cancer is at 30 doublings (of 100 days each) -- a total of 8 years.  He concludes that “the possible observation times in breast cancer is limited to between the 30th and 40th doublings or at most the last 25% of the growth history of a tumor.” (4)

90 days                        2 cells

1 year                          16 cells

2 years                         256 cells

3 years                         4,896 cells

5 years                         1,048,576 cells

6 years                         16,772,216 cells

7 years                         268,435,456 cells

8 years                         4,294,967,296 cells

Mammography

Mammograms were called into question because of their large number of false positives, as well as the issue of overdiagnosis and overtreatment: if mammograms were truly helping diagnose cancer early they should improve overall breast cancer mortality rates - but there are some studies showing that they don’t. (5)  Most often breast cancers are found in the upper outer area of the breasts, in between the breast tissue and the armpit (6) which cannot be visualized on a mammogram.

Mammograms have an average sensitivity of 80% in women over 50, which drops to 60% in women under 50. (7) Hormone usage decreases the sensitivity of mammograms. In addition, women who have scar tissue or dense or fibrocystic breasts have a tendency to get recalled for a repeat mammogram (resulting in more radiation exposure) because of difficulties reading the scans, since mammograms are not able to differentiate between a solid tumor and fluid-filled cyst or calcification. In spite of all of this, there is a strong commitment by the National Cancer Institute to reassure women that the benefits of mammography outweigh the risks, but repeated X-ray exposure can cause cancer. (8)

Thermography

Thermography is a reasonable alternative for women who want to avoid the radiation of a mammogram, for those who have implants (since it does not damage them) or for women who have had other breast surgeries resulting in scar tissue. It is also a great option for women who are considered high risk, are taking hormones, are younger or have dense breasts.  Additionally, thermography has no harmful side effects so it can be used as often as desired.

According to the American College of Clinical Thermography, thermography can detect abnormalities of the female breast and can also examine breast tissue in men.  Another advantage is that the entire chest is observed, neck to abdomen and armpit to armpit, and there is no compression of tissue, which can sometimes spread cancer cells. (9) Thermography can monitor treatment effectiveness and can distinguish between benign and malignant tissue in women with fibrocystic breasts. 

There are over 800 peer-reviewed articles supporting the effectiveness of thermography (10) and there are many well-known supporters of thermography including Dr. Christiane Northrup, Dr. Joseph Mercola and Dr. Veronique Desaulniers. Thermography was also most recently featured in Episode 2 of The Truth About Cancer! (an online documentary series).  Thermography was even approved by the FDA as an adjunctive test to mammography in 1982.

Thermographic image of breast cancer in the right breast diagnosed via biopsy.  Hyperthermia/inflammation follows the lymphatic system to branch from the axillary lymph node into the breast tissue. 

A 2003 study indicated “Thermography offers a safe, noninvasive procedure that would be valuable as an adjunct to mammography in determining whether a lesion is benign or malignant with a 99% predictive value.” (11)

A study published in 2008 by The American Society of Breast Surgeons concluded that DITI (digital infrared thermal imaging, or thermography) was a valuable adjunct to mammography and ultrasound especially in women with dense breast parenchyma [tissue] because of its 97% sensitivity. (12)

The American College of Clinical Thermography also describes the benefit of doing thermography along with mammography, citing the results of Canadian research:  The 84% sensitivity rate of mammography alone was increased to 95% when infrared imaging was added.13

In 2013, researchers Kolaric et.al. found thermography to have the probability of a correct finding in 92% of cases . They concluded that “breast cancer remains the most prevalent cancer in women and thermography exhibited superior sensitivity. We believe that thermography should immediately find its place in the screening programs for early detection of breast carcinoma, in order to reduce the sufferings from this devastating disease.” (14)

Thermographic image of a patient with implants

According to women’s health specialist, Dr. Christine Horner, thermography can “detect breast cancers much earlier than any other available technology. Because blood vessels ordinarily start to grow before any other significant changes and tumor growth, a thermogram can ‘see’ these abnormal physiological processes as early as 5-10 years before a cancer can be seen by a mammogram, MRI, or ultrasound or felt by a physical exam. What is most exciting is that when these abnormal processes are caught this early they are reversible.” (15) This gives time for natural interventions such as diet, supplementation and lifestyle changes like stress management to heal the body.

_________________________________________________________________________

Jessica Luibrand attended Grand Valley State University where she received her Bachelor’s degree in Health Sciences with a double minor in Biology and Sociology. She is currently employed as Chief Clinical Thermographer and Subtle Energy Researcher at Psy-Tek Subtle Energy Laboratory. Her mission is to combine her love of health and wellness with her love of people. 

_________________________________________________________________

Editor’s note: According to the American College of Clinical Thermography (ACCT), “One day there may be a single method for the early detection of breast cancer.  Until then, using a combination of methods will increase your chances of detecting cancer in an early state.”16 The ACCT suggests an annual thermography screening, mammography when appropriate, and regular breast exams.

The ACCT explains that most women use thermography in addition to mammography and/or ultrasound.  They believe thermal imaging should be “viewed as a complementary, not competitive, tool to mammography and ultrasound” that can increase the effectiveness of those two structural tests by identifying patients having the highest risk level.17

The International Academy of Clinical Thermography says that thermography is not a replacement for mammography because “there is no one test that can detect 99-100% of all cancers.”  In addition, thermography and mammography “are ‘looking’ for completely different pathological processes” because one tests physiology and the other tests anatomy.  Lastly, they explain that “thermography is far more sensitive than mammography; however, some slow growing non-aggressive cancers will only be detected by mammography.”18

Breast cancer detection is a multifaceted issue that requires an individualized approach. Each person must make their own decision and stay aware of the most current research. Because cancer screening is a billion dollar industry, it can be difficult to obtain unbiased information.19

Screening measures such as mammography and thermography can be beneficial tools for detection, depending on the circumstances. Use of one or the other, or both, depends on a variety of factors, such as age, history of disease, disease status, type of cancer, density of breast tissue and more. Remember that thermography or mammograms or breast exams cannot diagnose cancer. In the end, if something suspicious is found on a mammogram, or by ultrasound, breast exam or thermography, the definitive diagnosis can only be done by biopsy.

Sources:

1.      “American Cancer Society Releases New Breast Cancer Guideline,” American Cancer Society, accessed February 20, 2016, http://www.cancer.org/cancer/news/news/american-cancer-society-releases-new-breast-cancer-guidelines.

2.      “Aphorisms by Hippocrates,” The Internet Classics Archives, accessed February 21, 2016, http://classics.mit.edu/Hippocrates/aphorisms.4.iv.html.

3.      Rebecca SY Wong, “Apoptosis in cancer: from pathogenesis to treatment,” Journal ofExperimental and Clinical Cancer Research, 30(1) (2011): 87.

4.      “M. Retsky, PhD. Cancer Growth Implication for Medicine and Malpractice White Paper,” Technical Assistance Bureau, accessed February 21, 2016, http://www.lectlaw.com/filesh/tabtumo.htm.

5.      “Screening for Breast Cancer with Mammography,” Cochrane, accessed February 21, 2016, http://www.cochrane.org/CD001877/BREASTCA_screening-for-breast-cancer-with-mammography.

6.      AH Lee, “Why is carcinoma of the breast more frequent in the upper outer quadrant? A case series based on needle core biopsy diagnoses,” Breast, 14(2) (2005): 151-2.

7.      “Accuracy of Mammograms,” Susan G. Koman, accessed February 21, 2016, http://ww5.komen.org/BreastCancer/AccuracyofMammograms.html.

8.      “Mammograms Fact Sheet,” National Cancer Institute, accessed February 21, 2016, http://www.cancer.gov/types/breast/mammograms-fact-sheet.

9.      Johannes P. van Netten, Stephen A. Cann and James G. Hall,“Mammography Controversies: Time for Informed Consent?”Oxford Journals Medicine & Health: Journal of National Cancer Institute, 89 (15) (1997): 1164-1165.

10.  “Breast Screening Questions and Answers,” American College of Clinical Thermography, accessed February 21, 2016, http://www.thermologyonline.org/Breast/breast_q_a/bqa_clinicaltests.htm. 

11.  Y.R. Parisky, A. Sardi, R. Hamm, K. Hughes, L. Esserman, S. Rust and K.Callahan, “Efficacy of Computerized Infrared Imaging Analysis to Evaluate Mammographically Suspicious Lesions.” American Journal of Roentgenolgy 180 (January 2003).

12.  N. Arora, "Effectiveness of a Noninvasive Digital Infrared Thermal Imaging System in the Detection of Breast Cancer," The American Journal of Surgery (October 1, 2008): 523-26.

13.  “Breast Screening Questions and Answers,” American College of Clinical Thermography, accessed February 21, 2016, http://www.thermologyonline.org/Breast/breast_q_a/bqa_accurate.htm.

14.  D. Kolaric et al. “Thermography- A Feasible Method for Breast Cancer Screening?” Collegium Anthropologicum 37 (2013): 583-588.

15.  Christine Horner, Waking the Warrior Goddess: Dr. Christine Horner's Program to Protect Against and Fight Breast Cancer, (New Jersey: Basic Health Publications, 2005), 21.

16.  “Early Detection Guidelines,” American College of Clinical Thermography, accessed February 21, 2016, http://www.thermologyonline.org/Breast/breast_thermography_detection.htm.

17.  “Mammography vs. Thermography,” International Academy of Clinical Thermography, accessed February 21, 2016, http://www.iact-rg.org/patients/breastthermography/mammography-vs-therm.html.

18.  “Breast Screening Questions and Answers,” American College of Clinical Thermography, accessed February 21, 2016, http://www.thermologyonline.org/Breast/breast_q_a/bqa_replacement.htm. 

19.  ”Largest, Longest Study on Mammograms Finds No Benefit, “Mercola.com, accessed February 21, 2016, http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2014/02/26/mammograms.aspx.

Nassim Haramein Interview Feat. in TLC Magazine

My friends Amelia Hall & Josh Kreithen & I were lucky enough to interview Quantum Physicst, Nassim Haramein, last year at the Conscious Life Expo in LA. The following article was published on in5d's website as well as in The Life Connection Magazine for February 2017. 

Physicist Nassim Haramein is a pioneer in quantum mechanics, unified field theory and energy research. He has dedicated his life to the investigation and the deep study of physics, sacred geometry, chemistry, biology, archeology and mathematics. Nassim leads the Resonance Project and directs and leads a team of physicists, electrical engineers, mathematicians and scientists with the purpose of exploring and advancing developments in quantum energy, life science and consciousness. Nassim currently resides in Encinitas California. This interview was conducted at the Los Angeles Hilton at the Conscious Life Expo in February 2016.

homies :)

Question: You explain the brain as a receiver of different vibrational frequencies. Where do you think the signal originates?

Nassim: From a field of information that is present at the quantum level. This is on a very fine scale. Way below the atomic structure there is a field called the Planck Field, or the Planck oscillators. They are very small. Protons are already really small. So you are made out of a hundred trillion cells. There are a hundred trillion atoms approximately per cell. Atoms are really small. Imagine that protons are like a head of a pin on the dome of the Vatican. Then the dome is like the electron cloud of an atom. So a proton is really small. And realize that the Planck grains are making up the structure of space. So if the Planck would be the size of a grain of sand, then the proton would be a diameter from here to Alpha-Centari… which is about 40 trillion kilometers away. So the Planck is way teeny. It is the smallest proton of light, the smallest electromagnetic field that can exist. It is the portal of the fabric of space. And think the portal as a portal of information of all things being present in this field. Just like the electromagnetic waves carry information, that you can put up a radio set, tune the crystals to the right frequency and all of a sudden you can hear the music come out. It’s the same thing. The band that is making the music is not in the radio. The brain and nervous system is tapping into this field of information, which is a result of all other things radiating into it. So there is an exchange of information between everything and you that is occurring.

Question: Would you call this field the Collective Consciousness or the Akashic Record?

Nassim: Yes, you could call it that. Like if you wanted to use ancient civilization description. Many of them describe this field. They call is Prana or Chi. All sorts of different names.

Question: How do you think all the enlightened pre-technology ancient cultures discovered the same exact system of sacred geometry and Universal design? Do you think they were given this information by external sources such as extra-terrestrials? Or is the coded in our DNA? Or perhaps they learned how to tune into that knowledge through altered states of consciousness.

Nassim: I think it is all three of those. You find this across all the different cultures. If you put them together, they describe something very significant. The structure of space, the spin of space, and all this stuff like yin-yang. Basically it is describing this unified field. And if you look at their cultures describing these things, none of them say we came up with this. They all say we got this from the Sun God, or something that came from a star system in floating boats. Light beings. But at the same time, since we are made out of this stuff, it would naturally arise within us as well. So they recognized as something very fundamental. Very important… that is why they propagated it throughout the ages. So it will reach us. Right? And at the same time. Most likely, people had altered states of consciousness at time. And there are so many reports of those altered states of consciousness, by taking certain plants, medicinal compounds, and so forth. Seeing the geometry, seeing the dynamics, you know and so on. I think it is all about consciousness.

Question: So what do you think is happening at a neurobiological level?

Nassim: This field of information is a result of all things interacting in this space. Meaning all things radiating the information in the field. And how things absorb information. It’s a continuous feedback of information. It doesn’t have an origin. There is no beginning and end.

Question: You mention the black hole. Is it the electron that is going in and out?

Nassim: It is the photons. The electron is the charge that the black hole is producing. The proton is the black hole and the charge it produces is the electron. We actually just found last week a solution for the electron that is extremely exact. Like 99.9999997% exact and it is remarkable. And it is based on the exact same solution of the proton. And it predicts the …electron cloud. So now I have got the whole thing. I am really excited about this. So the information is the Planck field, the Planck photons, are the smallest units. Each bit of information is going through that cycle.

Question: Is it that it is the same exact structure that goes in that is also coming out? Or is the photon going somewhere else in the Universe?

Nassim: The bit that crosses the event horizon can be anywhere in the universe. All the volumes are shared through the wormhole structures. Just like a neural network. All of a sudden, the information becomes available for everyone else. It might come out at the same place, or somewhere else in the Universe. It doesn’t matter, because when it comes back out, it is changed like the rest of them. It experienced the outside. And it is changed by the outside. Then it goes back in and it’s changed by the entire Universe. It is a constant evolution.

Question: So in the atomic model, the center is a black hole. My first question has to do with the proton. In essence… is the proton the center of the black hole?

Nassim: The proton is the black hole.

Question: So, what if there is more than one proton? Such as oxygen with 16 protons.

Nassim: So then there are 16 black holes, orbiting each other. This is why if you get too many of them in there, they become unstable. They start radiating and now you have nuclei decay. The protons themselves don’t decay, at all. We have never seen a proton decay, ever in 13.7 billion years. There has been no proton decay, so that is pretty good!

Question: What do you think prevents one proton’s black hole sucking in the other proton‘s black hole? The energy is so strong. What is the force that stabilizes the protons from swallowing one another?

Nassim: Try centripetal force. Geo-scopic effects. Remember, they are spinning. And they are spinning fast. So those centripetal forces, and the Coriolis effect, such a strong angular momentum, will keep everything in orbit. Unless it’s got the wrong number and it doesn’t want it. Then radiation will happen until it finds the right relationship. So that is why heavy nucleons start to radiate radioactive energy. And emit electromagnetic wavelengths. The same thing in the solar system and Universe.

Question: If you look at the atomic model, and the galaxy, with a black hole in the center of each system… is there another scale up?

Nassim: Right. There are hundreds of galaxies with black holes in the middle. And there are super clusters that have black holes in the middle of them.

Question: So that also exists on another whole level and scale?

Nassim: Exactly. That is correct. There are black holes all the way up and all the way down. Absolutely. That is what I have found. The Planck obeys the condition of a black hole too. The little Planck is a teeny black hole. If you take the mass of our Universe and you put it in the radius of the Universe we see today, it obeys the exact condition of a black hole. It is not a coincidence. They call it a coincidence in standard physics, but it’s not.

Question: So is there an ultimate coincidence that all of this stuff happened on accident? Was it just random? Or was it designed? It’s so intricate that it seems it was designed by something.

Nassim: Well, you are going back to wanting a beginning and an end. And I don’t think that actually exists. All we have seen in the Universe at any time is just change of state. I have not seen anything end, or begin. We just have a change of state. Actually today there are articles that came out from studies that are being done in quantum physics where they describe the space as a fluid of Planck’s. They solved some of the equations now showing there was no Big Bang… there was no beginning! It has always been there. You know, it is an infinite continuous feedback of information. It is hard for us, because we think, “we were born and then we die”, and that’s why we have this idea of there being a beginning and an end. That might not be a universal concept. That is just a human concept. The beginning of your life, and the end of our life, doesn’t show anything new happening… just a change of state. Meaning, like when you die, all the atoms you are made of are just recycled. Just goes to another state.

Question: And so do you believe in reincarnation?

Nassim: Absolutely. Yes, I see no reason why information would be lost. Physics says no information can be lost. So, I don’t see why the information of who you are, that is in Plank field, would go anywhere. It would probably seek another residence. A condition it can regain a body to continue to explore. So, yes, I have no problem with reincarnation and concept of Akashic Record. And so on. Basically it is the physics of the Universe….